I always hate infertility but I especially hate it around the holidays. I thought for sure I would be watching my 2 or 3 year old opening their gifts and getting so excited about Christmas this year. I hate social media around the holidays. I am always seeing things like "Look at my kids opening their presents this year!" or "It's so nice to see their faces when they see their gifts" or "I love being able to bake cookies with my kids." I mean the list of the things that bother me around the holidays pertaining to infertility could go on and on (I have plenty of things that bother me around the holidays not pertaining to infertility but I won't go there). But I won't bore you will all of the things that bother me. I will just sum this up by saying I love Christmas, it's one of my most favorite holidays of all time, but it's a very hard time of the year for me the past few years.
So, instead of obsessing about what I don't have, I'm going to list things that I do have this holiday season!
A plan! I have a plan to solve my infertility issues and I'm just grateful that I do have a plan and that my husband has been so supportive lately. I am so grateful for him. He is a wonderful husband, person, and above all he's my best friend and we laugh together through everything! When we were at CCRM last month every other person seemed so serious and we were cracking jokes and looking at fail blog, laughin out loud. Probably being inappropriate but ... we're happy so who cares!
I'm excited to have started the Acai berry study that CCRM is conducting. It has to do with antioxidants and egg quality. Since my eggs seem to suck because they all die but my numbers are good so I figure ... let's do whatever we can to improve egg quality. Now, I don't think this study is going to make or break this upcoming IVF cycle BUT at least it's something. They said they've seen no change at all but that they've also seen egg quality improve by 5%. It's something.
I'm happy to have my puppy. He's always so happy and around Christmas I make him wear this obnoxious collar I got him that has jingle bells on it. I think he secretly likes it! ;) I think as long as Jason and I are happy he loves life!
I'm grateful that my Christmas knitting is almost done! :D I cannot post pictures yet because my family members may come across this blog and I do not want to spoil their surprise. Pictures to come after christmas!
I'm grateful for the rain that we're getting and will continue to get. California needs it so bad and although it's not snow, it makes it feel more like Christmas when it's cold and rainy! And if I want snow I can always take that 4 hour drive up to Lake Tahoe :D
I'm grateful for my skills at crafting. I love to craft. I don't do it enough but growing up I was in girl scouts and we were always doing crafts. I miss that very much. So, I went on pinterest (oh yes, I'm an addict now) and found this amazing DIY wreath. It was made out of book pages that were made to look like roses. So I found an old book (yes I feel bad that I destroyed a book but it was a book I had already read and I wasn't just throwing it away, I recycled it for enjoyment!), got some hot glue sticks and a wreath frame and got to work. So did my hubby ;) We finished in about 2-3 days. It was a lot of fun and the result is beautiful! Oh, and I sealed it with an acrylic sealer spray paint so it will not fall apart in the weather!
I plan on doing a ton more projects but I just had an exam in my math class I'm taking at the local college and I've been busy studying for that.
I would like to make something like this:
We do not have a fireplace so I thought this would be a cute idea. I would have to get a piece of wood, sand it down, paint it, get stencils to make the cute designs and then convince Jason that putting holes in the wall for Christmas is worth it .... That's a lot of work but I think I can manage.
Today I'm going to make some banana nut bread since we have some bananas that are going bad. Instead of just throwing them away I'm going to put them to use! Besides, it's better with mushy bananas! :D
On the TTC front .... sorry to go here but it is an infertility blog.
My period was late ... blah! The witch never gets here on time when you would like her to and when you don't want her she's early. It's annoying. So, 5 days late she came. I have to get baseline blood work done and that's a production. Since everything has to be done in the lab in Colorado for consistency I had to get a shipping kit overnighted to my house, get the blood drawn tomorrow, have them centrifuge the blood (I'm not going into detail about what the means, you're welcome to look it up) then take the blood home with me, freeze it overnight, then ship it back to them overnight on Monday morning so they have it by Tuesday so they can run the tests. HAH! Makes me laugh, all the crap I have to go through the try and have a baby.
I also got the results of Jason's chromatin assay screening. It's under 10% which means that his sperm are very healthy with the DNA. So that's good news ... but still very annoying because again, WE'RE MEDICALLY PERFECT YET STLL CAN'T GET PREGNANT! Fun times.
Back to the good stuff ... Jason and I are celebrating our 1 year wedding anniversary this Saturday. It does not feel like a year and I'm so happy for that. I'm more in love with him now than I was a year ago. I will definitely be enjoying this weekend with him up in San Francisco. I got him the best gift but I can't post it here in case he's reading ;) I will let you know how the date goes!
So, farewell for now. I will be back to update eventually but I will be crafting and making the most of my holiday this year! I hope you do the same with yours!
xo Ashli
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